Thursday December 22, 2011

Kayla-


It's almost 2012. This year has went by faster than any other, in my opinion. It's crazy to think how different my life is compared to this time last year, somethings are the same, but some aren't and I am very thankful for some of the things in my life being over/done. 


About a year ago, I was going through a really rough time. Today in Matthew 7, we read a verse my pastor shared with me when I was talking to him about how I didn't feel like I could keep trying to be there for someone and be someone that person could depend on. The verse was, "Don't throw your pearls before swine." I had really tried to open myself and share with someone that needed to know they had people in their lives that are dependable and will love them. I tried for a very very long time. I cried a lot. More than I think I had in my whole life. I just couldn't understand how you could give and care for and pray for someone so much, and they treat you horribly. Using things you shared with them about yourself to hurt you and to make you feel horrible about yourself. 


Don't throw your pearls before swine. Don't keep trying to be there for someone who rejects what you are sharing. Don't let them use it against you. Don't let them hinder you.

I think that is the biggest lesson I learned this year. That I don't always have to be there for someone, even when they continue to treat me less than I deserve to be treated. Sometimes, you just pick yourself up, wipe off the dirt, and move on and pray that God continues to use you. It says in Proverbs to guard your heart because it is the well spring of life. What you let into your life, you will ultimately reflect. I won't lie, it's hard to be as open as I was in the past because I feel like I had a lot of the things I loved and even the things I know I need to work on, ridiculed last year, as well as the things God has blessed me with, and it's taking me time to rebuild those things and feel confident sharing them, not just cater to other people, but to also enjoy the ways that God has created me as Kayla, as his daughter.

It's hard because I don't want to tell people to be cautious. But I'm going to. I'm going to tell people to be careful who is allowed into your life and what you share with them. You have to know if these people are genuine or if they are just playing a role for a little while. Don't ever stop praying for someone, or give up hope that God can change their lives. But after your heart has told you about a person (because let's face it, it usually does), follow that instinct, pray for that person, then move on. Move on to sharing the gospel in your life, through encouragement, through sharing your gifts and talents, and to loving.

I think it's amazing the strength that God has to pick someone up and to change their lives. I remember there were times I felt really low, and would pray, and there were times my prayers were answered. It was hard, but I am sooo thankful, that through it I am here and building up.

That was a novel, but it was on my heart :)

Blessings.